100 Hilariously Tomato Jokes That Make You Burst Out Laughing

Tomatoes are such a versatile fruit (or vegetable, depending on who you ask!). They can be delicious and sweet in salads, saucy and robust in pasta sauce, or juicy and refreshing by themselves. But beyond being an extremely useful ingredient, tomatoes can also provide some ripe comedic material.

Tomato jokes and puns are aplenty, ranging from cringe-worthy to clever. Whether you’re looking to “ketchup” on some new material, entertain kids, spice up conversations, or just have a good laugh, this collection of 100 funny tomato jokes has got you covered.

A Bountiful Harvest of Tomato Puns

Let’s kick things off with some corny and cheesy tomato puns to relish. Caution: excessive groaning may occur!

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call an arrogant tomato? A sauce boss!
3. What do you call a lazy tomato? A couch potato!
4. My friend thinks he’s so muscular, but I think he’s all tomato.
5. I was going to tell a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy. So I decided to make a salad joke instead, but it wasn’t very a-peeling. Oh well, I tomato as I went.
6. Did you hear about the tomato who went on a date? It didn’t work out – he couldn’t find a date!
7. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup!
8. Why do tomatoes make good race car drivers? Because they’re always trying to ketchup!
9. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry. What do you call a sad tomato? A bluemato.
10. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
11. Two tomatoes were crossing the road when a car hit one of them. The uninjured tomato yells, “Come on, ketchup!”
12. I relish a good tomato joke with lots of cheese! It’s the perfect recipe for laughs.
13. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
14. I tried to eat a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
15. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
16. Nope, no more tomato jokes for me. The doctor says I’m lacking “pun”ash and need a break!
17. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
18. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink!
19. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!
20. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!

Savory Tomato Jokes for Kids

Get the little ones giggling with these funny, family-friendly tomato jokes!

21. What did one tomato say to the other? You’re one in a melon!
22. What’s red, oval-shaped, and goes “splash?” A tomato in a swimming pool!
23. Where do baby tomatoes go during the day? To the daycare-ot!
24. What do you get when you cross a tomato with a shark? Ketchup that bites!
25. How does a tomato keep its hair looking good? With vine-egar!
26. What do you call a tomato who makes good cookies? A chip-off-the-old-block!
27. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste!
28. What did one tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup!
29. Why are tomatoes so lazy? They’re always waiting to ripe-n!
30. Why was the tomato red? It saw the salad dressing!
31. What do you get if you cross a tomato with a shellfish? A mussel-ketchup!
32. What do tomatoes do when they go to the beach? They put on sun-dried tomato screen!
33. Why was the baby tomato worried? Its parents were in a tomato paste!
34. What do you call a sad tomato? Bluemato!
35. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
36. What do you get when you cross a tomato and a bunny? A bunny with ketchup on its fur!
37. Why don’t tomatoes like fast food? Because they can’t ketchup!
38. Why was the tomato so late? Because it was playing ketchup!
39. Why are tomatoes cooler than potatoes? Because tomatoes can ketchup!
40. Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Amusing Tomato Jokes for Adults

Tomatoes aren’t just for kids! Grown-ups can appreciate the humor in these tomato jokes and puns:

41. Did you hear the one about the red tomato? Eh, it’s not very a-peeling.
42. What did the tomato say when running with the carrot? Can’t ketchup!
43. I ordered a margherita pizza but it was missing one thing – tomato puns. Those are the best topping!
44. I made gazpacho for dinner last night but it was a total soup-er flop. I should have just ordered pizza instead of trying to cook. At least pizza always delivers!
45. They say you are what you eat. No wonder I’m such a fungus, I eat a ton of mushrooms!
46. I entered the worst cook-in-town contest. The problem was, there were too many errors.
47. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
48. Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
49. My friend thinks this is an herb, but I told him it’s not thyme.
50. I tried to eat the clock yesterday. It was time-consuming.
51. What’s Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1
52. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food’s great, but there’s no atmosphere!
53. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
54. I’m reading a great book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
55. They told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic, but so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase!
56. I used to have a job crushing cans at the brewery, but then I got canned.
57. Velcro, what a rip-off!
58. My friend thinks he’s so muscular, but I think he’s all tomato.
59. What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
60. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.

Hilarious One-Liners

Short and sweet, these one-liner tomato jokes are sure to get a quick laugh:

61. What do you call a parade of tomatoes? A marinara!
62. What did the tomato say during the race? Ketchup!
63. Why was the tomato so worried? Its parents were in a tomato paste!
64. What do you get from a pampered tomato? Spoiled brats!
65. A cabbage, a capsicum, and a tomato went to a party. The cabbage left early and the capsicum got pickled!
66. What’s red and goes ca-ca ca? A baby tomato in a food processor!
67. Why was Tomato afraid to cross the road? He heard the car’s catsup!
68. What’s red, round, and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator!
69. How does a tomato keep its hair looking good? With vine-egar!
70. What do you get if you cross a tomato with a turtle? A slowpoke!
71. Why didn’t the tomato want to be a fruit? It didn’t want anyone staring at its privates!
72. What do you call a Spanish tomato? A tomat-ho!
73. What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large!
74. I once heard a joke about a pizza…it was cheesy!
75. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
76. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!

Ketchup With These Tomato Puns

Add more flavor to the mix with these saucy tomato puns:

77. Did you hear about the tomato who ran a marathon? It was trying to ketchup with the other runners!
78. What do you call a tomato that’s been hacked? Mutant Ninja Tomato!
79. Why was the baby tomato worried? Its parents were in a tomato paste!
80. How do you fix a broken pizza? Tomato paste!
81. Want to hear a bad cat joke? Just kitten!
82. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
83. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet!
84. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know!
85. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
86. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent!
87. I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.
88. Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it’s too tired!
89. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
90. Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sunday school!

Cheesy Tomato Jokes

These corny tomato jokes may make you cringe, but you’ll still be laughing!

91. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
92. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
93. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
94. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
95. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1!
96. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom? Because the P is silent!
97. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was too tired!
98. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
99. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
100. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!

Conclusion

Well, folks, that’s 100 hilariously cheesy, corny, and catchy tomato jokes for your enjoyment! Whether you’re looking to entertain family and friends or just “ketchup” on some humor for yourself, this selection of tomato jokes aims to please. Tomatoes really are such a versatile fruit-veggie – and the same can be said for tomato jokes! You can relish them, sauce them up, or serve them sliced, diced, and sundried. However you enjoy them, tomato jokes are always ripe for harvest when you’re seeking some wholesome laughter. Just be sure to avoid cringe-inducing ones that may make your audience wither away. And if you’re still craving more laughter, just remember – there’s always more fun “fruit” out there for future joke tellings!